Lent is still keeping me off chocolate, cakes and biscuits and then I read that the forty days don’t include Sunday – yes those on Lent are let off Sundays to return to their evil ways – next time I do this (and that will probably be Ramadan) I must read the instructions fully and spot the get out clauses!
I have in my hand a piece of paper, waving it at my son and shouting ‘hey bugger lugs why do I have a speeding ticket here for the All Road?’, the car he drives all the time. He started to mention it must have been Smailholm and tried to back track out of it, when on grabbing the paper read the title of ‘installation instructions for an APC Power Distribution Unit’ whilst his father jeered April Fool. I managed to avoid the swinging fist and foot.
There is a senses quiz which I pretty much flunked (9/20) showing what many people already knew that I am lacking in sense, common or otherwise.
In what sounds like an April Fool, a devil rabbit is terrorising a Northumberland village by eating vegetables. Hired guns are stalking it, the Magnificent Two, although they may get more than the 20p per head reqard for shooting rabbits in Shetland.
Mawlid an-Nabi falls on April 11th and celebrates the birth of Muhammad. April is a terribly religious month for all faiths and America is a terribly religious place – which reminds me of the John Snow map drawing in London which showed that cholera cases were grouped around wells with infected water – perhaps there is something in the water around these heavily grouped religious areas.
Stop Press – Sex is good for you, really good for you, finally something I like is good for me.
I could have sworn that seconds before a large pigeon flew suicidally into my TT left headlamp there was whispered in the wind ‘In the name of Allah, most merciful, most compassionate’. At least it wasn’t a giant rabbit.
We were at a 21 year old birthday Masked Ball in Kelso which was filled with nubile 21 year old girls in short dresses which with a free bar and pig in a roll came close to a perfect evening. My unusual Voodoo mask was noticed particularly since 7 other people chose the unique design, some masks were splendid but the people who chose the full face mask quickly discovered that this made looking cool and eating or drinking a mutually exclusive experience.
Kim’s flying lesson at Edinburgh Airport in a Cessna 172 was cancelled with the instructor saying – I have been up once today and I am not going up again in that turbulence. So we got a tour of the Air Traffic Control tower with fabulous views of Edinburgh, and visited the standing stones at Newbridge under the flight path.
Lent came to an end and the Easter eggs were broken out during the sunday showing of Life Of Brian. It turns out that if you are a catholic then Lent ends even earlier which is a sneaky way of converting people desperate for chocolate eggs.
What I took to be an April Fools prank, turns out to be an all year
round money making scheme – it is the Kabbalah red string. A piece of red string worn on the wrist by Madonna and Hollywood celebrities and anyone else willing to part with $26 for the book and piece of red string – the Kabbalah water is extra.
Lambs, lambs, lambs – cuddles, cuddles – does it get any better than this – apart from eating them (well we don’t until they are at least 28 months). Flora decided with all this contention on her grass to open a hole in the fence and graze in the field – the grass is always greener over the fence. I was amazed that the escapologist sheep weren’t also escaping – they must be hefted now to that field.
My sister, husband and kids came up for a drunken evening of drumming, guitars and pretending to be werewolves. This however was followed by eldest son driving through a hedge coming back from his friends, in a 3 week old audi quattro given to us as the garage couldn’t get our cars suspension repair back in time – they might speed up our future repairs… Stuart is now pointing out all the holes in hedges at junctions showing that his was not a unique experience.
After the joy of having bats circling around my head wondering what chirping noise was coming out of my bat detector – it was sad to discover one of the wee chaps lying on the doorstep – possibly as a present from Professor Moriarty our black cat. Since they are a protected species I am not sure if he gets thrown into jail for this one.
BT are installing our broadband line into the house – this involves replacing lots of telephone poles, upgrading the exchange, upgrading the carrier lines and in the process knocking off my office broadband and our ISDN lines. Still the engineers on the ground seem to be way more customer focused than the middle management dinosaurs – I have an account manger who won’t return calls or emails, whatever happened to ‘Its Good To Talk’?
