North by NorthWest, North East and South

From Skye North by NorthWest to Gairloch via single track roads and lots of road works with fed up STOP/GO men and very fast cars trying to get home - yes you can get overtaking on single track roads at dusk....

The road opened out to normal A roads but I was unprepared for the race track that was the road to Gairloch - fantastic surface and long long stretch. For legal reasons I am not even going to type what I was doing or what other cars were there - fantastic scenery and a fantastic road. The destination was going to be Ullapool but darkness was descending and I wasn't sure if the Loopallu festival was still on taking all accommodation for miles around so settled for the Old Inn at Gairloch. And what a fantastic resting spot that is - great seafood (I got the last mussels and great scallops with beetroot mash) then retired to the bar to help the best man of the wedding the next day with his speech.

The bar has fantastic beers and a few pints of blind piper and the highland barmaid was looking strangely attractive. She was a cracker - used to work for BT call center and told us all about the calls they get, had to turn the juke box off at 11 and had to grant no residents drinks (well one order was allowed if there was less then 20 residents in the bar!) The wedding group consisted of folk from Stornoway and I was amazed to hear about the religious hatred (many go to glasgow where it a similar situation allows them to blend in).

Breakfasted I took a walk along the windy shore and met folk who were heading near where I live so exchanged local tourist information and a couple where the chap had a car washing business - time just seems to extend in the Highlands, I noticed this on Barra as well - conversations last half an hour not a quick exchange people have time which is strange because there is so far to travel.

But I had to travel. I had to be in Helmsdale that evening so it was north past Poolewe and the Loch Ewe fom where the British ships sailed in convoy to relieve Russia with suplies and so many were sunk in arctic waters by U-boats. Gruinard Island is Anthrax island where our military unleashed anthrax on it to check its use as a chemical weapon, as a juxtaposition Gruinard Bay beach is fabulous - white, unspoiled and empty with a turquoise sea.

Ullapool is more than a port, it is set in magnificent mountains with a gorgeous sea setting. It has a great fish and chip shop and although I missed the festival I did hear that Echo and Bunneymen made a compete arse of themselves and the lead singer as eventually so rude and unpopular he was punched in a bar later. Entering the Highland Geology Park you are struck with the view of unspoilt mountains (yes no wind turbines) and a sense you are in an ancient part of Scotland. Sadly I had to cut this circumnavigation short and start to head over to the east coast and to Lairg.

The road to Lairg is long. I pulled over to let a white van with refrigeration top pass and got an indicator thanks. On the trip I came across him a couple of other times and the thanks escalated to a wave out the window. I took a side trip to The Falls of Shin - I kind of took it on a whim and after driving down a single track road for a few miles started to think of turning back, but doggedly pursued it for no good reason. I saw a car park for a couple of cars but there was no sign to the falls and then a bit further there was unexpectedly a huge car park and 5 star visitor centre with a waxwork statue of the owner of Harrods Mohammad Fayed. Like all waxworks it, of course, looked nothing like him.

I also didn't expect much from the falls of shin but was curious as to why there was a huge visitor centre and a waxwork. The falls are small but roar away - nothing that I hadn't seen before but then there was a shadow, and another... a huge salmon. The reason all this was there was there was the fantastic spectacle of salomon jumping the falls - it was an amazing sight. Although I wasn't too sure what would happen when they faced the dam further upstream... driving back I passed hte wee white van again and the chap was out delivering fish this time and stop and waved with his large green gloves and I reciporacted with an enthusiatic wave out the window and beep of the horn.

And so the long drive up to Wick to see the seven gates at the harbour - an art project impressive sculpted gates from childrens drawings. But the real reason to visit Wick was to clamber down the Whaligoe Steps. These are hidden but now appear in the 500 best wild places book - you find hte telephone box at Ubster and turn down a wee road to a car park and there is a wee monument to a lady that used to maintain the steps and from there 365 steps down the cliffs. It was windy but not too exposed but at the bottom is a fantastic space with the wind playing pipes with the cliffs. This was where herring boats came in and the fish was salted and the women carried barrels of them up the 365 steps. This was the good old days. I had purchased a guide book at the top but the most unexpected thing was the chap coming down the steps with his dog I said 'it is easy coming down' in a passing politeness and then spent an hour speaking to him - he was one of the maintainers of the steps and his tales were fascinating. The boats winched in for tarring, the rocks with metal loops to tie the large boat in and the salting shed. Least of all that the damage to the steps is not erosion but vandalism by youngsters from Wick who threatened to kill the chap and had thrown parts of the steps down at him. We walked back up pausing to see the graffiti (ancient by the step builders) and the places where vandals had dislodged large stones previously used for the women to rest their barrels on. He showed me a photograph of the steps in 1940's with the herring salting sheds all intact and the women all waiting with their barrels.

I left to pick Stuart up - he was in the bar of the Bridge Hotel finishing his mapping work. I had a drink at the bar served by the Iranian owner who was a Tomorrows World presenter. The plan was to head south and get somewhere for the night - Stuart was using the Scotland the Best guide (awful index that book has) and his phone and was busy negotiating with the best hotels in Inverness - look we will offer you XX pounds for two rooms and that is our budget you are not going to sell those rooms tonight are you - some didn't go for it, the Golf View at Nairn did, so we set the sat nav to that and ended up in the disabled parking lot of the hotel. The hotel was roasting due to the pipes for the leiusre centre running through it - unbearably hot.

We set off the next day past RAF Kinloss to the Findhorn Foundation. Where the F**K are you taking me bleated Stuart the petroleum geologist - christ it is a bloody eco village!
Quick take a picture of the propane gas canisters on the caravans in the eco village. Eco village or not it did have some splendid architecture - wooden houses that you would want to live in. Everyone looked fairly unhappy though and generally unfriendly - not the happy hippies I used to know - perhaps their cannabis had run out?

From one extreme we edged along the coast road at Gardenstown a very religous town and made our way along a narrow road at the edge of the harbour with Stuart guiding the drop onto the ocean. From there to Pennan to see the landslides were cleared up bu thte pub was still closed. Southward to the great beach at Balmedie Bay and then to Stuart's flat near Pittodrie football ground and lunch in a splendid pub. Sorted out his broadband with a bit of shopping and then to a flying visit to my mum and on the outside lane all the way home... the car took a well earned rest and got a new set of disk brakes as a treat.